I know my attitudes are regarded as somewhat Victorian but I have some observations, based on personal experience, that made me wonder exactly what we are doing, giving children the liberal upbringing that seems standard these days!

Much is made, these days, of 'children's rights' and I would be the last person to argue against the fact that every child brought into this world is entitled to expect a warm roof over their head, food in their stomach, good medical care, a decent education, no sexual or other abuse and a loving family. Those are a given and can't be argued with. However, our assumption that all children, past a certain age, are 'innocents' is certainly not borne out in MY experience. If children are to expect these much-vaunted 'rights', then we are also entitled to OURS and very often these are abused by those very kids.

For nearly 20 years I taught swimming at our local swimming pool. Because I taught IN the water and in public areas and at public times, I was often in the pool when children were also swimming there and often in a changing cubicle when children were changing in the adjoining one. Some of the personal abuse I suffered at their hands (or more accurately, vocal chords), the foul language I heard, the abuse of public property and the comments I overheard there were startling in the extreme. I will give you a few examples.

1. Two young girls in an adjoining changing room were talking about the 'boys' they were going out with/wanted to go out with. One commented that she was going out with a 25 year old (I later saw the two girls concerned and they were approximately 14) and said that she wouldn't dream of going out with anyone younger 'because they didn't have the money to spend on her that she expected & didn't have a car'. The other commented that he would be in trouble if anyone found out that they were going out and asked if he knew how old she was. 'Of course not, was the reply - I told him I was 18'. She then went on to describe how, if he didn't give her everything she wanted, she would threaten to tell the police that he had slept with her, knowing it was Staturory Rape!!!

2. Three girls discussing Xmas presents; one commented that her mother was buying her a mobile phone '...and it had better be at least £150 - I'm not being seen at school with any cheaper muck. If she spends less than that I'll throw it back at her'! They then went on to discuss how anything except designer goods were totally unacceptable and one said she expected her parents to spend at least £500 on her, indicating very clearly that she thought anything less made them 'cheapskates'! They were all approximately 12-13.

3. Two girls again, discussing their sexual exploits with the boys in their class, the drugs they were taking and how much they cost; the whole conversation didn't have a single sentence that didn't contain a swear-word and most included F--K or a derivative from it at least once. They then proceeded to discuss what they were about to carve into the cubicle wall with a knife - using similar language. At that point, as a member of staff, I had to step in and tell them I had overheard their conversation and would be calling for one of the management to come and deal with them, if they defaced the pool property. They then came out of the cubicle and hurled personal abuse at me, in particular at my size, for the next ten minutes. I reported the matter to my management who said that there was nothing they could do, as it would be the girl's word against mine if they hadn't actually damaged any property yet & I couldn't prove what they did or said!

4. Two boys were in the pool one day when I was teaching. I had my teaching aids (dive rings, floats etc) on the pool side and they constantly took these items, knowing they were mine, ran of with them to other parts of the pool or dropped them to the bottom. The lifeguards helped, but they still kept on doing it - at the same time abusing me verbally. They were disrupting the lesson that the pupil had paid a great deal of money for but eventually I had to excuse myself in order to dive down to the bottom of the pool to retrieve my property and deal with these kids. One young boy dived down after me and tried to grab the dive ring out of my hands as I surfaced. As I got to the top he yelled out 'Get your hands OFF me'! - all I had done was take hold of his wrist to take back my property. The lifeguard then told me I must NOT touch the children, especially under the water, as they could accuse me of sexual abuse and it would have to be investigated. He made it clear that these days children know only too well how any accusation of this nature can destroy a reputation and even if it was not true, they would have NO qualms about using such accusations if they were crossed. He noted that I would have a hard job proving I had not done anything - as they were always sided with. This left me practically powerless to stop their behaviour. I have seen the most APPALLING behaviour in the pool, not just from children (technically speaking, that is) but from youths in their late teens (many obviously under the influence of drugs or alcohol, they should never have been allowed IN), which it is difficult for the lifeguards to stop without physically handling them but these days they are so scared to even touch anyone that they cannot do a thing, except call the police. I've even seen kids yelling abuse at the POLICE from the middle of the pool!

5. Finally - two young girls (around 14-15) were openly discussing how they were going to attempt to seduce their teacher at school. The comments ranged from how they were going to open their blouses more when he came to look at their work, to rather more graphic descriptions of how they were going to get him to see them alone after normal school hours, under the pretext of needing extra help. They were then planning to offer sex and if he didn't agree, they were going to threaten to go to the Police about him, accusing him of sexual abuse in retaliation!

Now while some of these cases may just be teenagers fantisising about what they would LIKE to do, I suspect that in many cases they are NOT. The fact that they are even THINKING this way is, in itself, alarming. The fact is that they know their RIGHTS and they are thinking up ways to abuse those rights and fire them BACK at the very people that we, as a society, are trying to protect them from is surely causes for both alarm and a rethink on the whole subject.

Other places where we've also seen disgusting behaviour includes the local cinema. My husband and I went to see the last part of 'Lord of the Rings' there. Earlier in the day, it being the school holiday, there had been a matinee screening for kids. The whole of the foyer carpet and the stairs up to the Screen 1 were covered in sticky popcorn. You couldn't fail to tread it into the carpet, because there simply wasn't enough room to avoid it. We sat in the balcony where there were already a crowd of noisy teenagers, ignoring the rule about mobile phones, making calls, shouting across the aisles, many using foul language, and throwing things at one another. We sat down and within a short space of time, my husband was being deliberately pelted on the head with popcorn. When the film started, these kids talked and mobile phoned during the whole of the opening scenes, shouted loudly through the battle scenes and, during the quieter periods of conversation between characters, made lewd and/or prejudiced comments about the characters sexuality. Some members of the audience finally lost their temper and told them to shut up - they simply got a load of verbal abuse back. The management were called for, attempted to remove some of the kids; some simply refused to leave and short of calling the police and disrupting the whole film, there was little that could be done! We made complaints to the management after the film, who more or less indicated that although they knew about this disruption and acknowledged that it was not an isolated case, there was a limit to what they DARED to do as the kids, many of whom were physically bigger than they were and were, frankly, likely to wait until the staff left and attack them, or their vehicles, as a result! I wrote to the local paper to complain - who were glad to publish the letter but needless to say, we have never been back to the cinema at a time when young people are allowed in - it's just not worth the aggravation!

These are the very kids who are the first to yell "You don't give us no REESPEK man" - I ask you - it is ANY WONDER?

On top of all this, is the personal abuse that I have had at the mouths of these kids, for the past 20 years - both at the pool and on the street. Nobody, it seems, has told them that it is wrong to call out rude comments based on people's appearance and these days, their prejudice and lack of common courtesy is now backed up by comedians on the t.v. and by role models who think that being a Size 8 is normal for a human being!? I have tackled parents whose children have been rude to me only to be told 'I've told them not to be rude but what else can I DO'? Even worse are those parents who actually AGREED with the comments and told me so!

What they can DO is what MY parents did - if they can't instill decent manners in their kids, they can make the consequences something to be feared... OH BUT I FORGET!... the little darlings can't be touched physically; if they are sent to 'their room' they either simply refuse to go or if they DO go it is to a haven where they have a personal t.v., computer or games machine - usually all three, plus their mobile phones to call their mates! Many kids these days are physically bigger and stronger than their parents and teachers - so what punishment can be meted out that is going to worry them in the slightest? NONE! NO WONDER these days kids aren't afraid of ANYTHING - they have no respect for parents, teachers or the Law. Spare the rod and spoil the child? TOO DARNED RIGHT. That may not be 'PC' and I know many do-gooders will argue the point but it's a FACT.

AND YES - I DO REMEMBER WHAT IT WAS LIKE TO BE YOUNG. We rebelled too. We had the summer of love and flower-power. We had the Beatles and disapproving Mums and Dads commenting on the length of their hair and we too grumbled that the older generation were out of touch and 'didn't understand'. HOWEVER we also knew that if we crossed the line too far, there would be HELL to pay. When MY Dad was angry, you took cover.... and answering back was NOT an option! Then everything changed and the world started banning smacking and talking to kids as 'equals', providing them with expensive designer clothes and gadgets in case they get bullied or laughed at for NOT having them, letting them dress in makeup and clothes only suitable for people 10 years older, providing sex-education at increasingly younger ages, allowing adults to be called by their first names and teaching them to defend their 'Rights' without even a thought for the abuse of the system that might be used by them.... and what's the result? We have more teenage pregnancies, drug taking, smoking (where DO they get the money? At SIXTEEN I didn't get enough money to buy a packet of cigarettes even at old prices!) and more violence than ever (as I type, yet another 15 yr old kid has been found stabbed to death...). More importantly - clinics are now full of kids who have eating disorders/are potential suicides because their peer group believe that anyone, of any age is unacceptable/fair game for verbal abuse if they don't look like a stick-insect/human cross!.... AND it seems little is being done to stop this happening (THAT should be a right that every overweight kid HAS - to go to school without worrying if they are going to be subjected to this vile treatment but here we are, 55 YEARS after I suffered the same abuse at school and STILL it goes on - worse than ever!)...

THE FACT IS THAT THESE CHANGES IN BRINGING UP KIDS SIMPLY HAVEN'T WORKED.

Quite frankly, I will give these type of kids 'reespek' and grant them 'Rights' (other than the basics in paragraph one) when they EARN it... if they abuse me verbally in the street or anywhere else, those rights go where MINE have gone - OUT THE WINDOW.